Decisions We Make As Children

I recently had an EFT session with a woman who has suffered anxiety and depression since her childhood shortly after her father committed suicide. Naturally this is a tragic, deeply traumatic and sad event in any child’s life. She has consequently had years of therapy and whilst she can talk about her father’s death now, it took a very long time before she could do so. At the time and understandably so, due to the level of grief and overwhelm experienced by her mother and family, no-one ever talked about what happened or comforted her in any way and all she remembers is feeling so completely alone, scared and with this constant aching sadness in her heart. After her dad’s death she was always sent to school early and remembers sitting and crying alone and in fear behind the shelter sheds. The family’s grief was so deep and their ability to function normally so severely impaired that her needs for comfort and support were not able to be met by her immediate family.

After tapping on several issues around her father’s death, how she felt as a child and other issues currently affecting her life, she became saddened to realise just how much of her life has been consumed by this and that she was still in part hanging on to the past, despite wanting very much to move on and “get on with it.”  So at this point we tapped on:

“Even though part of me is still hanging on to the past, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though I’m so sad that this has consumed so much of my life that I don’t even know what it’s like not to have it, I deeply and completely accept myself.

“Even though I’ve not had the career, the family, the life I wanted because of this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though if I give up the past now I won’t know where I’ll be, who I am or where to go, I choose to focus on my personal vision of peace” (which she described earlier, as the life she wanted)

As she tapped on this, a very significant memory of herself as a child popped into her head. She distinctly remembered making a decision “to be miserable.” The reasoning behind this was “if I am miserable someone might come.” She explained that as a child she always felt sad, alone and scared, often crying for hours waiting for someone to come and comfort her but no-on ever did. This “childhood decision” was made at a time when she was in deep mourning for the loss of her father. The “decision to be miserable” became a part of her life and how she experienced it from then on. Something that is likely to be at the core of her depression. So we tapped on something to this effect:

“Even though I made a decision as a child to be miserable, I am an adult now and choose to make a different choice. I choose to be happy and focus on my personal vision of peace instead and let go of the vow I made as a hurt, sad and lonely child”

As we know childhood events shape our lives. I can’t help but wonder how different her life may have been, if as a child living under those circumstances, she had EFT to release all those feelings of sadness, hurt and loneliness. Of course that would not have bought her father back, but the deep pain in her heart that she has felt ever since and that manifests as anxiety, may have definitely been eased.

I think this highlights the importance of teaching our children to tap, whatever opportunity we get because we may never know when they might need it in the future. A happy carefree child today may lose a parent or be subjected to any other similar tragedy tomorrow. A child who has lost a parent (or suffered any other tragedy) in today’s age does have access to these tools and we as adults have the ability to make a difference by teaching it to them.

Do you remember any negative choices you made as a child? Could they be affecting the quality of your life? If so, you have the opportunity as an adult to tap and erase that choice and replace it with a healthier choice. Consider what being at peace means for you and add it to your choice statement when you tap on it.

“Even though as a child I made a choice to……., I deeply and completely accept myself and choose to focus on……(your vision of peace) instead.”

As the author of Tapping For Kids my mission is to help as many children as possible learn “the art of tapping” so that they have the opportunity either with an adult or alone in their room or behind the shelter sheds or in any moment of need to release the strong and overwhelming emotions that they are confronted with. Peaceful children are more likely to become peaceful adults.

Help create peace in the life of a child by teaching them to use EFT routinely as a way of healing and soothing emotional upsets.

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

+61417 391 055