By Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
While EFT is an ideal tool for parents and teachers to use directly with children, there may be times in a child’s life when teachers, parents or other adults are the actual source of stress for the child. Children who have been taught to tap on their own have the freedom to tap on whatever is bothering them at the time including an upset at home or at school, without having to rely directly on an adult to help them sort the issue out. EFT allows children to overcome daily upsets so that they don’t build into bigger problems.
Sometimes due to fear, shame, guilt or anger children simply won’t discuss their issues with adults. Children get angry at their parents for all sorts of things, even if the relationship is a close and loving one. Sometimes this anger is overtly displayed in their behavior or other times you may not know they are angry with you but it may play out in disruptive way.
If as a parent, your child is angry at you for something you said or did or didn’t do and you are aware of it, it’s harder to get them to tap with you and they are less likely to listen to you because they are angry with you. The child who has learnt to tap on their own however, without the help or prompting of an adult will more likely tap on their anger towards their parent and resolve the issue rather than hang on to it, restoring peace and harmony. If the child can neutralize their anger towards you, their behavior towards you will likely change of it’s own accord, making everybody’s life easier!
Tapping can strengthen the bond between children and their parents or students and their teachers by neutralizing the underlying negative feelings that contribute to the problem. For instance an 8 year old I recently taught EFT to, was intimidated by her teacher and fearful of him, due to outbursts he had in the classroom with regards to another student. Even though she wasn’t the one “in trouble” her fear of him affected how she felt in class and she was constantly worried that she would do something to upset him. Of course the teacher could not have known this and whilst he was doing the best he could to handle a disruptive student, his behavior was interpreted by her as intimidating and frightening.
Her anxiety being in his class was increasing and affecting her school work and she was becoming increasingly anxious about “making a mistake” and “getting into trouble.” The fear of her teacher was at a 9 when we started and went down to a zero after tapping several rounds on how he made her feel. She also tapped on the original incident where the boy was dragged out of class by the teacher. We also tapped on her fear of making a mistake and getting into trouble. She no longer felt the fear and was no longer worried about the incident. I suggested that she tap each day after school on any remaining or new fears, worries that she had about this teacher. She now has the ability to release these feelings on her own. The benefit of this? A more relaxed school experience, less pressure and stress, greater confidence and the possibility of seeing her teacher in a different light, improving not only her classroom experience but quite possibly the teacher/student relationship as well. If allowed to spiral out of control, her fear may have continued to affect her school work. With EFT as an intervention this cycle was stopped in it’s tracks and without the fear, worry and stress, a more conducive learning experience was possible.
As parents, teachers and guardians we simply cannot know everything that is bothering a child or how an event affects them emotionally. Passing this skill onto our children empowers them to use it whenever or for whatever issue is bothering them even when the source of the stress is someone they love.
In my opinion EFT is a life skill that no child should be without! “Tapping For Kids” is my first book and is inspired by a strong desire to put EFT into the hands of young people as a tool to help them overcome their fears, worries and everyday traumas as well as build their self-esteem. This book is an essential resource for any parent, educator, counselor or anyone interested in teaching children how to use EFT to manage their emotions and release everyday traumas.
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
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