Childhood Fears and Bullying

A case study by Deirdre Brocklebank © 2009

I really enjoy doing EFT with children as I have found them to be generally very creative, open and usually co-operative, while doing the process. The young man that I am writing about in this article is an intelligent and spiritual young man of six years of age (when I first saw him) and I will call him Kyle.

I first worked with Kyle about six weeks previously when we tapped on his being bullied at school. He was initially tentative at that first session and he preferred having the door open while we did the EFT, so he could see his mother in the other room.

For his second session Kyle asked me to help him as he was scared of a dog monster that he saw in a television cartoon. He was also feeling scared during his swimming lessons because of his fear of sharks and crocodiles. He was much more relaxed and confident with me this session. I asked him whether he wanted the door open or closed while we did the EFT. This time he was quite adamant that he wanted the door shut so we wouldn’t be “interrupted”. He was quite subdued initially while telling me about the cartoon monster and he didn’t look me in the eye while he talked and tapped his karate chop point.

As he slowly gained confidence he started to look at me as I encouraged him to describe what the monster did and what it looked like. His confidence grew as I repeated his words and threw in a few of my words such as “ugly, spotty, silly old monster ‘. By this time his confidence was growing to the extent that he told me with glee that the monster did “blue farts” and that his grandfather had said “they shouldn’t show such bloody awful television cartoons to children.”

I made a few suggestions about how we could deal with the monster such as sending it into space or drawing it. He chose to draw it and then to burn the drawing. He insisted that we also burn all the matches that we used. He laughed about the monster going up in smoke and made sure that every bit of the drawing was burnt to ash. After the burning he tapped randomly on the head and body points for statements such as “the silly old monster and the gone to Monster Heaven monster.” I tapped along with him.

He agreed to do an EFT setup and round on the monster. As I mentioned previously, Kyle is quite a spiritual boy and I was impressed before we started tapping, when he looked at the sky and said, “If I look at the sky and look at God I can see my friends. My friends are John and Don.” He could also “see” his dog Darcy that had died. His friends are still alive and it was interesting to note that John was the friend who had been bullying him and he was the reason for Kyle doing the first session of EFT with me

Kyle asked me to tap on him and to speak the setup and he repeated what I said. The setup we worked out together was, “Even though I’m a little bit scared of the scary, smelly, blue-farty, pink and blue spotted monster I‘m a great, happy kid and mummy loves me.” I tapped through the points on him from the top of head to the karate chop using the descriptive words in the setup plus other choice ones that he contributed, including “yukky, stinky, jumping-from-tree and paper-ripping monster.”

Kyle said he “felt fine” after two rounds.

His second fear was about sharks and crocodiles and this also seemed to have stemmed from television shows. He had seen a surfer attacked by a great white shark on television and he had also seen crocodiles leaping out of the water at people on land and in small boats. I was very impressed when he told me with confidence that “crocodiles are like dinosaurs as they are about 100 million years old and they are still here and sharks are too.” He tapped randomly on himself while telling me this.

Kyle wanted to burn the drawing of the shark and the crocodile but as we had run out of matches he decided to tear the drawing into tiny pieces. I agreed to dispose of these later.

He seemed much happier after tearing up the drawing so I encouraged him to talk to me again about the shark and crocodile. I did this by asking him to pretend that he was swimming in the pool and to tell me how he felt. He said he still felt a bit of a “scaredy cat”. I tapped on him for the following setup. “Even though I’m a bit of a scaredy cat in the pool because of the shark and crocodile, I’m a great and happy kid and I’m stronger than anybody else and stronger than a shark and a crocodile.” The statements at each point from the top of head to the under arm, were based on this setup statement. After two rounds he felt “fine”.

Kyle was a much happier boy when we finished the session and he was quite happy for me to tell his mother what we had been tapping on. He even contributed to the conversation without any obvious anxiety or fear.

On the third session we tapped on his nightmares about dinosaurs. They seem related to his seeing dinosaur models in a museum about 20 months before. He described them as being100 feet tall, with grey/brown teeth about10 metres long. He was scared they were going to bite him. This has been a recurring dream as he mentioned that he woke up and rolled out of bed on another occasion because of a dinosaur dream and his mum came and saved him. We tapped two rounds for, “Even though the scary dinosaurs woke me up with a fright and I was scared, I’m a great kid and really brave and strong.” We then tapped one round of each of the following: “I now choose to sleep nicely.” “I’m a big, strong, brave kid.”

The thing that most frightened Kyle about the dinosaurs was their size. I told him about the fable of the elephant being frightened by a mouse and ad-libbed with parallels about his dreams and the dinosaurs – ie even though he is smaller than a dinosaur he is still brave and strong. (I asked him questions to ensure he understood about the differences in sizes of the animals and their comparative bravery). He agreed that the best way to deal with the dinosaurs was to tell them to go away if any more come back when he is asleep.

The value of the previous EFT work that we did on his fear of sharks was evident when he told me of another dream that he had had recently about a shark. In the dream he and the shark kept swapping teeth and finally Kyle got the biggest teeth and he bit the shark.

In the fourth session Kyle mentioned that his friend we had tapped for in the first session was bullying him again. I tapped along with him while he tapped himself for: “Even though every day John says ‘naughty, nice, going cookoo’ to me and its confusing and frustrating, I’m a great kid and I’m Okay.” We tapped two rounds for: “John gets in my head and it’s confusing and frustrating.” He felt a lot better and then tapped on himself for: “Even though I wish John wasn’t there I’m still a great kid.” This was followed by two rounds of the following: “I wish John wasn’t there but I’m still a great kid.” We then tapped together for “Even though I’m distracted by John I’m a great kid.” followed with two rounds of “I’m still distracted by John when he goes to the pencil sharpener.” He is a very insightful child and I was impressed when he told me that it was okay, because John only teases people because he is sad.

Kyle is very sensitive and he told me in a round-about way that his mother had been kicked at school when she was a child and it affected her back. He was worried that his sister would break his back because she kicks him. We tapped for: “Even though I’m worried that Suzy will break my back like what happened to mum, I now choose to accept and love myself and Suzy unconditionally.” He did one round of the main phrase then repeated the story while tapping the KC. He felt okay when thinking about it and changed the subject.

Kyle admitted that he occasionally still feels a bit scared of sharks when he swims in one particular pool because he can’t see the edge. However, once again the efficacy of the EFT that I had done with him in the earlier session was obvious. Instead of wanting to get out of the water, his strategy now is that if he thinks he sees a shark coming to get him, he just moves out of the way and it hits the wall.

His parents were discussing divorce and there was obviously a lot of strain in the family but Kyle did not mention these issues to me. Therefore, I only focussed on what he wanted to address. I will address those issues in the future if he chooses to raise them with me.
Deirdre Brocklebank
B.A. Dip Reflex Cert. IV in Assessment and Workplace Training, Theta Healing practitioner, EFT practitioner and teacher. Member RAA. d_brocklebank@hotmail.com  http://bodyandsole.wordpress.com

The Imaginary Tapping Technique For Kids

by Angie Muccillo © 2009

What is Imaginary Tapping?

“Imaginary tapping” is a useful technique children can use when they are in a situation where they are not physically able to tap, for instance during an activity where it is impractical to tap or in public where they may not want to be seen tapping. 

Instead of physically tapping children can just think about the problem and at the same time imagine they are tapping by visualizing the tapping points.

How to Use Imaginary Tapping

“Imaginary tapping” is simply done by visualizing the tapping points without actually tapping on them. The easiest way to do this is to imagine each tapping point “lighting up”. Your child may come up with their own alternative imaginative method.  Children have wonderful imaginations, so allowing them to choose a method that appeals to them can be very empowering and allows them to more readily remember it. Instead of “lighting up”, your child may choose to imagine that the tapping points open up like flowers or that they open like a door. Talk to your child about how they want to visualize their tapping points.

When To Use ”Imaginary Tapping”

As an example a child sitting in a dentist’s chair may experience discomfort, anxiety, fear etc during the procedure.  Without using words or set ups the child can simply imagine the tapping points while they feel upset. This is a very handy self calming method that can be used in the moment while experiencing the actual trauma.

How To Practice Imaginary Tapping

This technique whilst simple may require reinforcement at first. Practice and encourage “imaginary tapping ” with your child around the home so they can get used to the technique and this will help them remember how to do it when they are out and about.

Sit down and discuss with your child beforehand the types of circumstances where they may use this technique such as, during a game, in the change rooms before a race, around an animal that scares them, in the classroom, during a test etc The possibilities are endless!

Use gentle reminders. If you know your child is heading off to an activity where they could become upset remind them they have the ability to help themselves calm down by using “imaginary tapping”.

Why Use Imaginary Tapping?

This simple tapping variation is as effective as actually tapping the points and can broaden a child’s use of EFT. It can be used as an “emergency” procedure to help children calm down in moments of stress. This is an “in the moment” tapping technique which gives children the opportunity to tap there and then when the negative emotions are being experienced.

My thanks goes to the parent who purchased Tapping For Kids and who asked a question about this topic and raised the subject of what to do when her daughter is in a situation where she is not able to tap. If you have read the book and have any questions or topics you’d like to discuss please feel free to send me an email at angiemuccillo@gmail.com

Cheers!

Angie Muccillo (BA, EFT- ADV)
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Remedial Massage Therapist
Author of Tapping For Kids
Melbourne, Australia

mob: 0417391055
angiemuccillo@gmail.com

Tapping For Kids Book Release

I am pleased to announce that my new book Tapping For Kids – A Children’s Guide To EFT is now available for purchase online through DragonRising Publishing. You can order the eBook or Paperback today!

Tapping For Kids is designed to help children (7-11) overcome traumas and problems of everyday life by using EFT. Through a mix of story, activities, rhymes and tapping scripts, the book effectively enhances children’s learning and shows them how EFT can be used to help them overcome their fears, worries and everyday traumas, while at the same time building up their self-esteem. The story in the book is set within “The EFT Palace of Possibilities for Kids”, a multilevel healing high rise where its ‘Caretaker’, known as the TapMeister, runs play shops to help children ‘master the art of tapping’ – a popular new kids movement taking the world by storm!

Help Promote Tapping For Kids

DragonRising Affiliate Program

If you are interested in helping to promote and share Tapping For Kids with your clients, friends, mailing lists and online communities, DragonRising offers an attractive affiliate program which you are invited to join.

Click here for more information and to sign up as A DragonRising Affiliate

Click here for DragonRising Affiliate FAQ’s

REVIEW

Here is a review from an 8 year old reader..

“I liked how the book used songs to help you remember the Happy Buttons. I also love how the children in the book travel the 8 floors and each of the floors have a special activity for you to do or something to learn about tapping. I already now a little bit about tapping, but now I know alot more and it seems like more fun and something easy to do on your own” Antonia S, Nth Dandenong VIC

Click here to BUY NOW

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

       +61 417391055       

 

 

                   

When Kids Won’t Tap

A common question I get from parents and caregivers is what to do when their kids won’t tap.

“My 8 year old son has been taught how to tap by an EFT Practitioner and I have done it with him off and on. When something comes up and I tell him to tap on it, he doesn’t want to! Any ideas??”

“I was wondering if you could give me advice on how to teach EFT to a reluctant child. I have tried to teach my grandson EFT but his response has been a very strong no, I don’t want to do that. Do you have any suggestions?”

Let’s look at some of the reasons why children may not tap and what you can do to create an environment where tapping is encouraged.

Why Kids Won’t Tap

Sometimes children will resist tapping even when they have been taught to use it and it has worked for them in the past. Firstly, no matter how much you may want your child to tap on something because you know it will help them, it is important to remember that you can’t “make” a child tap if they don’t want to. It is especially important to understand that EFT is not a strategy for getting children to do what you want or to get them to behave in a certain way. It is a way to help children release their emotions if and when THEY want to. We can show them when and how to tap but the decision to tap must ultimately be the child’s. Sometimes they may prefer to tap alone and other times they may prefer to tap with you or another person.

Some reasons why children may resist tapping:

1. Children may resist tapping because they are being “told” to tap rather than being “encouraged” to tap. When given as a directive children may react with a defiant or rebellious attitude. It can become “another thing mum nags me about” as opposed to when a child realizes that it’s “something I can do whenever I want to feel better.”

2. Children can often pick up on your desperation for them to tap and this can make them more resistant to it. Often the harder you try the more they resist.

3. They may not feel it is “cool” to tap. While some children take to EFT immediately others may feel self conscious or embarrassed about using it.

How To Encourage a “Reluctant” Child To Tap

1. Become an EFT Model. The key to encouraging a “reluctant” child to tap is to actively model it yourself as well as help create an environment where tapping is part of family life. When children see their parents tapping they are more likely to do it themselves. According to Karen Curry, author of EFT For Parents, “children do what we do, not what we say…if your kids see you tapping, especially when you are feeling emotional intensity, they will be encouraged to use it themselves under similar circumstances.” If they see you tapping and how it benefits you they may be more likely to do it with you or on their own.

2. Tap On Your Own Frustration/Desperation First. If you are frustrated or upset about the fact that your child won’t tap, then treat your own frustration or upset first.

“Even though Tim won’t let me teach him to tap, he’s still a wonderful child and I love him unconditionally”

“Even though I want to help him but he won’t let me…”

 ”Even though I can’t get him to tap with me…”

Even though he pushes me away….”

“Even though he’s doing this just to make me mad…” etc

3. Surrogate Tapping. Once you have brought your emotional intensity down by tapping on your own frustration/desperation first, you can then try surrogate tapping for your child, starting with any beliefs the child may have about EFT such as

“Even though tapping can’t help me, I’m still okay”

“Even though nothing can help me with this problem, I’m still okay”

“Even though I would rather stay mad/sad/upset, I’m still a great kid”

“Even though I’m too scared to tap…”

Also surrogate tap on the child’s actual resistance to tapping using their own words such as:

 ”NO don’t make me tap”

“ I don’t want to tap”

“I hate tapping”

“Stop trying to make me do it”

“I won’t do it, I hate being told what to do” etc.

 After a few rounds tap on some positive statements on behalf of the child such as:

 ”What if tapping makes helps me feel better”

“What if I can do it on my own”

“What if tapping helps me feel really really good”

 ”What if I don’t have to feel upset anymore”

“This tapping stuff is actually fun”

“What if I like doing it”

After you have finished surrogate tapping pay attention to any changes and notice if the child seems more willing to tap, of their own accord or asks you to help them.

4. Tap On Behalf of Your Child. When you see your child getting upset, rather than telling him to tap, simply start tapping out aloud on yourself so they can hear you, using a set up that reflects what is going on.

“Even though Tim is really mad and hurt because….., he’s still a great kid and I love him”

Encourage your child to join along with you or just keep tapping on their behalf (unless they object) using whatever you think is bothering them to tap on. If they see that you understand how they’re feeling they may start tapping themselves and be more open to telling you why and what they’re really upset about.

5. Add Some Humor. You can also add some humor and tap on something like:

“Even though mum is doing this crazy tapping thing again and I don’t want to do it, I’m still a great kid. I’ll tap if and when I want!”

6. Why It’s Cool To Tap. Reinforce the benefits of tapping to your child, such as “it’s a way to help you feel better whenever you want” “it can help you calm down when you want to” “it helps your anger melt away” etc. When kids find out they can tap on their upset without having to tell you what it is about they start to pay attention! In her work with children, Ann Adams will often tell an upset child in her faculty who hasn’t been introduced to EFT yet that, “I’m going to give you something to calm yourself down and you don’t even have to talk to me.” She points out that “not asking a child to talk ’sets you apart’ from all other professionals who have tried to help this kid” The Promise Of Energy Psychology pg 168

Tapping For Kids – A Children’s Guide to EFT is a delightful and practical way to introduce children to EFT. Reading this book to your children or giving it to them to read on their own will take them through the entire EFT process allowing them to understand exactly how EFT works, how and when to do EFT and gives examples of the types of daily issues they can use EFT for. After reading and practicing the exercises in this book, children will be skilled, prepared and equipped to use EFT or the “Magic Formula For Feeling Better” when the moment arises, such as before a test or after an argument or after any upsetting incident/event.

Setting up an environment where tapping is encouraged and offered as an option and a choice may go a long way to helping a “reluctant child” to tap. Through teaching, encouraging and modeling the use of EFT within the family, in the classroom etc a “reluctant child” may discover they have a tool for life.

Angie Muccillo BA EFT-ADV
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia
angiemuccillo@gmail.com
  +61417 391 055

Pre-Order Tapping For Kids Now!

I am pleased to announce that Tapping For Kids – A Children’s Guide To EFT will be available from the 1st December 2008 and is a perfect Christmas present for the children in your life!

You can pre-order the eBook or Paperback today!

Tapping For Kids is available for purchase online though DragonRising Publishing.

Click here to BUY NOW

Help Promote Tapping For Kids

DragonRising Affiliate Program

If you are interested in helping to promote and share Tapping For Kids with your clients, friends, mailing lists and online communities, DragonRising offers an attractive affiliate program which you are invited to join. Earn up to 30% commission!

Click here for more information and to sign up as A DragonRising Affiliate

Click here for DragonRising Affiliate FAQ’s

REVIEW

Here is a review from an 8 year old reader..

“I liked how the book used songs to help you remember the Happy Buttons. I also love how the children in the book travel the 8 floors and each of the floors have a special activity for you to do or something to learn about tapping. I already now a little bit about tapping, but now I know alot more and it seems like more fun and something easy to do on your own” Antonia S, Nth Dandenong VIC

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

+61417 391 055

EFT World Magazine Autumn Issue

The Autumn edition of the EFT World Magazine is out now. My article “Empowering Kids To Tap On Their Own” is featured in this issue.

By Editor Gary Williams

The Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
The Autumn Edition

Another great issue of EFT World for you, featuring a new book on EFT called “EFT for Dummies” reviewed by Prof Tam Llewellyn-Edwards, EFT Master, EFT Honors Certificate.

Also Angie Muccillo Author of “Tapping For Kids” talks about empowering kids to tap on their own. EFT is such a powerful tool for kids and some say that our children are our greatest teachers.

One of their strengths when very young is the fearless ability to get in there and have a go, something we may lose as we get older and more self-conscious.

Our culture tends to disapprove of making mistakes, but we can really learn and get to know something by learning from our mistakes. In NLP they say “there is no such thing as failure only information”.

One of my favourite kids’ stories is about a nativity play where three boys played the three kings. For some reason things got a little muddled and the kings greeted the baby Jesus in the wrong order.

The first king said “I bring you myrrh”, the second king said “I bring you gold”, and the third king said “frank sent this”. Kids are always willing to have a go!

Also featured in this edition, an exclusive in depth interview with internationally recognised teacher and trainer Tania Prince. Tania talks about TAT and how EFT helped her get beyond her own shyness. Tania also gives you ideas on how to get started and shares her thoughts about how you can improve and develop your delivery of the Emotional Freedom Techniques. We are blessed to feature two masters of EFT in this edition of EFT World with EFT Master Judy Byrne talking with me about how we need to work hand in hand in a complementary fashion with the medical world. Judy also offers advice and tips on improving your ability as an EFT Practitioner.

For more information visit http://www.eftworldmagazine.com

Getting To the Core of A Child’s Fear Of School

This is a featured article by Gene Monterastelli from EFT Q&A http://eftQandA.com a website dedicated to answering your most pressing EFT Questions. In this article Gene answers a question from a mother whose 11 year old daughter developed a fear of school. In his comprehensive answer, Gene provides an outline of how the mother can approach and get to the core of the problem using EFT. If you have any questions about EFT that you would like answered you can submit your question at http://eftQandA.com

By Gene Monterastelli

QUESTION

My daughter has suddenly developed a fear of school, (she’s 11). She has previously been very very happy there, and has no reason to feel like this. She really wants to go but feels she can’t, and doesn’t know why? Any ideas?

ANSWER

Obviously, with such a little amount of information, there is no real way to answer this question. There are a whole host of reasons that could be contributing to this fear. It could be associated with the classroom, something on the play ground, or something with the other students.

When we don’t know the root cause of an emotion

What the situation does do is give us a good backdrop to talk about how do we approach an emotional response when we have no idea of where the emotions are coming from.

There are two basic tacks that we can take. I would recommend taking both of them at the same time. They are, to deal with the emotions in the moment and to investigate to find the root of the emotions. By doing this we are able to help the fear in the short term and by trying to find the roots of the fear so there won’t be the same response in the future.

The Emotion Right Now

One of the blessings of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is the fact that we are able to use it right now for the emotions we are feeling in this moment. In this case I would recommend two things.

First, I would recommend spending some time before going to bed tapping on the fear about going to school the next day. If the fear is large enough it is not going to happen just as she is walking out the door for school, but more than likely is going to be present the night before. It is good to deal with this at bedtime because this fear is going to affect her quality of sleep.

Second, I would recommend spending some time tapping in the morning before heading out the door to school or even on the ride to school.

In both cases the tapping is very simple. I would have her explain to me how the fear feels, how her body feels, and what she is worried about. I wouldn’t use any complicated tapping phrases. I would have her tell me the story of what is going on in her body and her head while she is tapping.

Investigating the Roots

Now that we have gotten the fear in the moment under a little more control we can start to look around for what the root cause is.  I would start to investigate by asking questions around the common reasons an 11 year old wouldn’t want to go to school.

Questions to ask to get to the core of an issue

My questions would be something like this:

1) Why does she feel like she can’t go? It sounds like the questions has been asked but it is a good place to start every time. Often people, not just kids, have a hard time admitting why they are afraid. By asking again they might give an answer they didn’t before.

2) What could go wrong if she does go to school? When dealing with fear it is usually rooted in not wanting to experience a bad outcome. They might be able to name the outcome they fear and not associate that with the fear itself.

3) The feeling of not wanting to go, what does it remind her of? The is a classic EFT investigation question. When you don’t know the root, see what it reminds you of. Lots of information can be found here.

4) If she could change one thing about school what would it be? Sometimes we don’t want to say what we fear, but we are willing to say what we would like to see different. Fear is often associated with weakness. We don’t like share why we are fearful. This question lets us answer without looking weak.

5) If she could go to a new school how would the new school be different from her old school? This is very much like the last questions. By giving them a chance to say what they want, we are giving them an out of not having to say what they don’t want or fear.

6) If she could go to school tomorrow and know one person was not going to be there, who would she want that person to be? No one likes to be a tattletale. Also for kids there might be fear of retaliation for turning a bully in. This way they don’t have to tell on someone else and still be able to state their needs.

7) When she is not at school, what does she think the other students say about her? People, not just kids, can be ruthless. We don’t like to be place where we are being picked on, but again we don’t like to be tattletales. By asking the question in this fashion we are not asking her to tell on anyone. Instead, she is pretending what they might say. This is a safe way to share what she fears.

Obviously this is just a start, but I think it is a good start. It is important to remember that with EFT we always have two plans of attack. We can deal with what we are feeling right now and we can deal with the roots of the emotions. If we can find our way in with both tacks, then we should use them. Just because we don’t know the root, doesn’t mean we are helpless. We can always go after what is going on right now until we get to the root of the issue.

Gene Monterastelli is a Baltimore based EFT practitioner. He regularly works with clients in the areas of stress, weight loss, limiting beliefs, anxieties, learning disabilities, pain management, and relationship issues. There is a very special place in his practice that is dedicated to parents of special needs children, especially for parents of children who have been diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Click here to check out Gene’s Stress Busting Products

Decisions We Make As Children

I recently had an EFT session with a woman who has suffered anxiety and depression since her childhood shortly after her father committed suicide. Naturally this is a tragic, deeply traumatic and sad event in any child’s life. She has consequently had years of therapy and whilst she can talk about her father’s death now, it took a very long time before she could do so. At the time and understandably so, due to the level of grief and overwhelm experienced by her mother and family, no-one ever talked about what happened or comforted her in any way and all she remembers is feeling so completely alone, scared and with this constant aching sadness in her heart. After her dad’s death she was always sent to school early and remembers sitting and crying alone and in fear behind the shelter sheds. The family’s grief was so deep and their ability to function normally so severely impaired that her needs for comfort and support were not able to be met by her immediate family.

After tapping on several issues around her father’s death, how she felt as a child and other issues currently affecting her life, she became saddened to realise just how much of her life has been consumed by this and that she was still in part hanging on to the past, despite wanting very much to move on and “get on with it.”  So at this point we tapped on:

“Even though part of me is still hanging on to the past, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though I’m so sad that this has consumed so much of my life that I don’t even know what it’s like not to have it, I deeply and completely accept myself.

“Even though I’ve not had the career, the family, the life I wanted because of this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though if I give up the past now I won’t know where I’ll be, who I am or where to go, I choose to focus on my personal vision of peace” (which she described earlier, as the life she wanted)

As she tapped on this, a very significant memory of herself as a child popped into her head. She distinctly remembered making a decision “to be miserable.” The reasoning behind this was “if I am miserable someone might come.” She explained that as a child she always felt sad, alone and scared, often crying for hours waiting for someone to come and comfort her but no-on ever did. This “childhood decision” was made at a time when she was in deep mourning for the loss of her father. The “decision to be miserable” became a part of her life and how she experienced it from then on. Something that is likely to be at the core of her depression. So we tapped on something to this effect:

“Even though I made a decision as a child to be miserable, I am an adult now and choose to make a different choice. I choose to be happy and focus on my personal vision of peace instead and let go of the vow I made as a hurt, sad and lonely child”

As we know childhood events shape our lives. I can’t help but wonder how different her life may have been, if as a child living under those circumstances, she had EFT to release all those feelings of sadness, hurt and loneliness. Of course that would not have bought her father back, but the deep pain in her heart that she has felt ever since and that manifests as anxiety, may have definitely been eased.

I think this highlights the importance of teaching our children to tap, whatever opportunity we get because we may never know when they might need it in the future. A happy carefree child today may lose a parent or be subjected to any other similar tragedy tomorrow. A child who has lost a parent (or suffered any other tragedy) in today’s age does have access to these tools and we as adults have the ability to make a difference by teaching it to them.

Do you remember any negative choices you made as a child? Could they be affecting the quality of your life? If so, you have the opportunity as an adult to tap and erase that choice and replace it with a healthier choice. Consider what being at peace means for you and add it to your choice statement when you tap on it.

“Even though as a child I made a choice to……., I deeply and completely accept myself and choose to focus on……(your vision of peace) instead.”

As the author of Tapping For Kids my mission is to help as many children as possible learn “the art of tapping” so that they have the opportunity either with an adult or alone in their room or behind the shelter sheds or in any moment of need to release the strong and overwhelming emotions that they are confronted with. Peaceful children are more likely to become peaceful adults.

Help create peace in the life of a child by teaching them to use EFT routinely as a way of healing and soothing emotional upsets.

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

+61417 391 055

Reflecting on Your Childhood

“Our childhood experiences tend to establish the avenues we take through life. Some of us spend our lives stalled on Anxiety Avenue or WoeIsMe Way while others move freely along Success Street, Heaven’s Highway and Love’s Lane. Do you suppose our unresolved fears, traumas, guilt and other baggage-like emotions from childhood have any influence on which freeways we frequent. Of course they do. Our childhood experiences are written on our emotional walls and, depending on their quality, they become either “stop signs” or “green lights” as we move through life. Further, they have a way of reinforcing themselves and growing larger over time.” Gary Craig www.emofree.com

How different would your childhood have been if you had known how to use EFT as a child? What events would you have tapped on? What difference would that have made to your life today? Just think about it.

I find these questions interesting to dwell on and indeed I have.

Try reflecting back on your own childhood and see if you can find a time or times in your life where you could have benefited from using EFT.

Then the next time you see a child who is upset, sad, angry or anxious consider the implications of teaching them to use EFT.

“What better time to introduce EFT to someone than when they are young? If we can relieve a learning disability, a fear or an ever present anger and thus change the direction of a child’s life by a mere 5 degrees, that shift in direction can mean the difference for some children between graduating from high school or dropping out. It can mean the difference between going to college or menial jobs. It can give some children the self confidence to say no to drugs and THAT, of course, is life changing.” Gary Craig www.emofree.com

Change the life of a child by teaching them to use EFT routinely as a way of healing and soothing emotional upsets.

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

+61417 391 055

Problems Are Like Puzzles – Helping Kids Tap on “Aspects”

Tapping on and clearing all the “aspects” of a problem is just as important when tapping with children as it is for resolving any adult issue with EFT. Ann Adams, EFT Practitioner and Campus Director at a residential care facility for Severely Emotionally Disturbed children, explained to the children she worked with that “problems are like puzzles”

“I explained how problems were like puzzles and that puzzles have a lot of pieces. That the first step was to think about your problem and then pick what piece of it you want to work on. Then, when that piece of the problem was fixed you would pick another piece until all the bad feelings were gone.” Ann Adams

This is a very useful concept in helping children to identify and tap on all the aspects of their problem. It is a simple metaphor that kids can easily relate to and an important “trick of the tapping trade” according to the TapMeister in my book Tapping For Kids.

“In this practice lesson you will learn that ‘problems are like puzzles’ and another important trick of the tapping trade is to tap on all the pieces of the puzzle to make sure the job is really done!…When you think about your ‘problems as puzzles’, you can see that there are different pieces joined together to make up the whole problem and all the bad feelings that go with it….” The TapMeister

How To Help Your Child Tap On All The ‘Pieces Of The Puzzle’

Making Mini Movies

Say the child you are tapping with is having problems with bullying. Ask the child to pick a “piece of the puzzle” that makes up the problem they are having and get them to play a movie in their mind of that part of the puzzle, while they tap on their points.

“Say you are being teased by someone at school. One part of the problem may be that you are really scared of bumping into them. The first step then is to tap on this piece of the puzzle by tuning in to this part of the problem.” The TapMeister

When that piece is neutralized ask them to pick up another piece, or the next biggest piece and repeat the process until there are no more pieces to tap on.

“Then when this part no longer bothers you, pick another piece of the puzzle. You do this until you have tapped on every piece of the puzzle until all the bad feelings are gone” The TapMeister

Listening To Their Story

Another way is to simply allow the child to tell their story out loud while they tap. If they are willing to talk about it then continue by listening attentively and calmly, without judging, blaming, lecturing or telling them what he or she should have done (which we are often tempted to do.) The idea is to let all your child’s feelings and concerns to be expressed while they tap. Encourage your child to tell you the whole story by asking questions like “and then what happened?” and “what else happened?” This will allow the different aspects of the problem to be uncovered. Continue with this process, until the issue is completely neutralized.

Silent Movies – When a Child Won’t Talk

If a child is ashamed, guilty or fears being punished for something that has happened or that they have done, they are less likely to talk or explain their story in full or at all. Fortunately this process can be used without the need for the child to necessarily verbalize their problem. They can do it all in their mind by making mini movies and tapping on each piece of the puzzle in silence. Tell them they can make their very own “Silent Movie” if they don’t want to talk about it.

In her work with children, Ann Adams will often tell an upset child in her faculty who hasn’t been introduced to EFT yet that, “I’m going to give you something to calm yourself down and you don’t even have to talk to me.” She points out that “not asking a child to talk ’sets you apart’ from all other professionals who have tried to help this kid” The Promise Of Energy Psychology pg 168

I have actually found that when a child is given the opportunity/permission to tap on their issue “silently” they will more likely talk about “what happened” afterwards. This is great for actually opening up communication and dialog with a child who may not otherwise be willing to talk. This method also opens the door for children who simply have difficulty communicating or expressing how they feel in words.

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

+61417 391 055