Decisions We Make As Children

I recently had an EFT session with a woman who has suffered anxiety and depression since her childhood shortly after her father committed suicide. Naturally this is a tragic, deeply traumatic and sad event in any child’s life. She has consequently had years of therapy and whilst she can talk about her father’s death now, it took a very long time before she could do so. At the time and understandably so, due to the level of grief and overwhelm experienced by her mother and family, no-one ever talked about what happened or comforted her in any way and all she remembers is feeling so completely alone, scared and with this constant aching sadness in her heart. After her dad’s death she was always sent to school early and remembers sitting and crying alone and in fear behind the shelter sheds. The family’s grief was so deep and their ability to function normally so severely impaired that her needs for comfort and support were not able to be met by her immediate family.

After tapping on several issues around her father’s death, how she felt as a child and other issues currently affecting her life, she became saddened to realise just how much of her life has been consumed by this and that she was still in part hanging on to the past, despite wanting very much to move on and “get on with it.”  So at this point we tapped on:

“Even though part of me is still hanging on to the past, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though I’m so sad that this has consumed so much of my life that I don’t even know what it’s like not to have it, I deeply and completely accept myself.

“Even though I’ve not had the career, the family, the life I wanted because of this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though if I give up the past now I won’t know where I’ll be, who I am or where to go, I choose to focus on my personal vision of peace” (which she described earlier, as the life she wanted)

As she tapped on this, a very significant memory of herself as a child popped into her head. She distinctly remembered making a decision “to be miserable.” The reasoning behind this was “if I am miserable someone might come.” She explained that as a child she always felt sad, alone and scared, often crying for hours waiting for someone to come and comfort her but no-on ever did. This “childhood decision” was made at a time when she was in deep mourning for the loss of her father. The “decision to be miserable” became a part of her life and how she experienced it from then on. Something that is likely to be at the core of her depression. So we tapped on something to this effect:

“Even though I made a decision as a child to be miserable, I am an adult now and choose to make a different choice. I choose to be happy and focus on my personal vision of peace instead and let go of the vow I made as a hurt, sad and lonely child”

As we know childhood events shape our lives. I can’t help but wonder how different her life may have been, if as a child living under those circumstances, she had EFT to release all those feelings of sadness, hurt and loneliness. Of course that would not have bought her father back, but the deep pain in her heart that she has felt ever since and that manifests as anxiety, may have definitely been eased.

I think this highlights the importance of teaching our children to tap, whatever opportunity we get because we may never know when they might need it in the future. A happy carefree child today may lose a parent or be subjected to any other similar tragedy tomorrow. A child who has lost a parent (or suffered any other tragedy) in today’s age does have access to these tools and we as adults have the ability to make a difference by teaching it to them.

Do you remember any negative choices you made as a child? Could they be affecting the quality of your life? If so, you have the opportunity as an adult to tap and erase that choice and replace it with a healthier choice. Consider what being at peace means for you and add it to your choice statement when you tap on it.

“Even though as a child I made a choice to……., I deeply and completely accept myself and choose to focus on……(your vision of peace) instead.”

As the author of Tapping For Kids my mission is to help as many children as possible learn “the art of tapping” so that they have the opportunity either with an adult or alone in their room or behind the shelter sheds or in any moment of need to release the strong and overwhelming emotions that they are confronted with. Peaceful children are more likely to become peaceful adults.

Help create peace in the life of a child by teaching them to use EFT routinely as a way of healing and soothing emotional upsets.

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

+61417 391 055

Reflecting on Your Childhood

“Our childhood experiences tend to establish the avenues we take through life. Some of us spend our lives stalled on Anxiety Avenue or WoeIsMe Way while others move freely along Success Street, Heaven’s Highway and Love’s Lane. Do you suppose our unresolved fears, traumas, guilt and other baggage-like emotions from childhood have any influence on which freeways we frequent. Of course they do. Our childhood experiences are written on our emotional walls and, depending on their quality, they become either “stop signs” or “green lights” as we move through life. Further, they have a way of reinforcing themselves and growing larger over time.” Gary Craig www.emofree.com

How different would your childhood have been if you had known how to use EFT as a child? What events would you have tapped on? What difference would that have made to your life today? Just think about it.

I find these questions interesting to dwell on and indeed I have.

Try reflecting back on your own childhood and see if you can find a time or times in your life where you could have benefited from using EFT.

Then the next time you see a child who is upset, sad, angry or anxious consider the implications of teaching them to use EFT.

“What better time to introduce EFT to someone than when they are young? If we can relieve a learning disability, a fear or an ever present anger and thus change the direction of a child’s life by a mere 5 degrees, that shift in direction can mean the difference for some children between graduating from high school or dropping out. It can mean the difference between going to college or menial jobs. It can give some children the self confidence to say no to drugs and THAT, of course, is life changing.” Gary Craig www.emofree.com

Change the life of a child by teaching them to use EFT routinely as a way of healing and soothing emotional upsets.

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

+61417 391 055

Problems Are Like Puzzles – Helping Kids Tap on “Aspects”

Tapping on and clearing all the “aspects” of a problem is just as important when tapping with children as it is for resolving any adult issue with EFT. Ann Adams, EFT Practitioner and Campus Director at a residential care facility for Severely Emotionally Disturbed children, explained to the children she worked with that “problems are like puzzles”

“I explained how problems were like puzzles and that puzzles have a lot of pieces. That the first step was to think about your problem and then pick what piece of it you want to work on. Then, when that piece of the problem was fixed you would pick another piece until all the bad feelings were gone.” Ann Adams

This is a very useful concept in helping children to identify and tap on all the aspects of their problem. It is a simple metaphor that kids can easily relate to and an important “trick of the tapping trade” according to the TapMeister in my book Tapping For Kids.

“In this practice lesson you will learn that ‘problems are like puzzles’ and another important trick of the tapping trade is to tap on all the pieces of the puzzle to make sure the job is really done!…When you think about your ‘problems as puzzles’, you can see that there are different pieces joined together to make up the whole problem and all the bad feelings that go with it….” The TapMeister

How To Help Your Child Tap On All The ‘Pieces Of The Puzzle’

Making Mini Movies

Say the child you are tapping with is having problems with bullying. Ask the child to pick a “piece of the puzzle” that makes up the problem they are having and get them to play a movie in their mind of that part of the puzzle, while they tap on their points.

“Say you are being teased by someone at school. One part of the problem may be that you are really scared of bumping into them. The first step then is to tap on this piece of the puzzle by tuning in to this part of the problem.” The TapMeister

When that piece is neutralized ask them to pick up another piece, or the next biggest piece and repeat the process until there are no more pieces to tap on.

“Then when this part no longer bothers you, pick another piece of the puzzle. You do this until you have tapped on every piece of the puzzle until all the bad feelings are gone” The TapMeister

Listening To Their Story

Another way is to simply allow the child to tell their story out loud while they tap. If they are willing to talk about it then continue by listening attentively and calmly, without judging, blaming, lecturing or telling them what he or she should have done (which we are often tempted to do.) The idea is to let all your child’s feelings and concerns to be expressed while they tap. Encourage your child to tell you the whole story by asking questions like “and then what happened?” and “what else happened?” This will allow the different aspects of the problem to be uncovered. Continue with this process, until the issue is completely neutralized.

Silent Movies – When a Child Won’t Talk

If a child is ashamed, guilty or fears being punished for something that has happened or that they have done, they are less likely to talk or explain their story in full or at all. Fortunately this process can be used without the need for the child to necessarily verbalize their problem. They can do it all in their mind by making mini movies and tapping on each piece of the puzzle in silence. Tell them they can make their very own “Silent Movie” if they don’t want to talk about it.

In her work with children, Ann Adams will often tell an upset child in her faculty who hasn’t been introduced to EFT yet that, “I’m going to give you something to calm yourself down and you don’t even have to talk to me.” She points out that “not asking a child to talk ’sets you apart’ from all other professionals who have tried to help this kid” The Promise Of Energy Psychology pg 168

I have actually found that when a child is given the opportunity/permission to tap on their issue “silently” they will more likely talk about “what happened” afterwards. This is great for actually opening up communication and dialog with a child who may not otherwise be willing to talk. This method also opens the door for children who simply have difficulty communicating or expressing how they feel in words.

Angie Muccillo
Author of Tapping For Kids
Advanced EFT Practitioner
Melbourne, Australia

angiemuccillo@gmail.com

+61417 391 055